im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So vagazzling was a success
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
there is glitter all over my balls
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
