After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
