I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
