They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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