Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize