You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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