Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
