I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
