She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
