After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
