she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
