I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize