Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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