Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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