the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
