doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
