I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
