Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
