She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
