**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
bring money and cleavage
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
