Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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