We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
