Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
