Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
