The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
