As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
