Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize
