Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
