dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
