ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
