He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I need to calm my uterus...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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