My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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