hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize