Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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