OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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