maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
