I bet he comes in French.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
