Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Holy shit dude........stairs
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
