I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My Sexting was not on an AP level
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
