win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
