i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
