hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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