Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
