ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
