it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Randomize
