No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
