Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Houston, we have a blender
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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