so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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