Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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