I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
