Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
