Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
