you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize