Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i will never coherently bang her
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
