trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
