Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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