No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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