K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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