found the other keg... it's in the tree
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
