Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
