In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
