I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
