So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just tell him i said nine months
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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