just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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