Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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