we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
