I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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