dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
