Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Randomize
