you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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