isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
